I am


A wallflower girl.

I stand on the sidelines. I watch things happen, palely and flamingly.

I write them down.


An adagio girl.

I weave in and out sporadically, in slow tempo. Shut-off. Silent. Often unheard.

But I never stop singing.


An orchid girl.

I float quietly in a jelly-glassful of roses,

Content to bloom in darkness.


A candlelight girl.

I may not have the brilliance to grace a ballroom alone,

But I possess the glow to read bedtime stories and conceal the fine dust on the floor.


A prism-glass girl,

Who swallows white-hot pain and refracts it into a thousand colors.

I see the latticed light pour forth, and send my faint gleam out from the gutter to the stars.


I am the scattered notes of fragmented truth, splitting and spilling in sparkling shards.

My clear chords blossom like balloons.


A note or two of star-pearled dew.

A scattered song, fragile with flaw,

Esther Haelan Ra,

I am.


7 thoughts on “I am

  1. Esther you are and always will be a priceless treasure and joy! I know God loves you deeply, and so I will also love you through the love he placed within me also…we are a part of that same living vine and he blessed you to share…thanks for embracing my words and I shall always embrace yours my sister…God bless you always!

  2. Hi Esther,

    Just wanted to stop by and tell you how much I love reading your poems, essays, and other stories here on your blog. You have a way with words like no other writer I know, and I truly enjoy reading each piece of your beautiful writing.

    Keep following and pursuing your dreams!

  3. Dear Esther,

    Esther you amazing person!!! haha I found your blog from scriptura and ventured in!!
    and oh wow, you and your awesome writingㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
    Keep up the good work my friend
    I shall 구경해 a bit more

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